The heart is full of grief

Have you ever felt as down as I am? I always think I am always the one who cause the problems and I am a troublemaker.No one convince me that I'm just as perfect as I am.
I always wonder why do I feel so guilty .It is because I have more flaws than everyone around me?
I feel as if I just could not fit in this life.Feel like crying sometimes but I could not cry .It is just like some tumour stuck in my heart and wanting to remove it.
I just want the sad feeling to relieve by crying as much as I could.
I always prefer to keep quiet when I'm hurt inside.People thought I was a tough & jolly girl.It's just a mask people.I aint a happy girl at all.The wounds in my heart is so difficult to heal.Oh Lord,please shower me with your love.AMEN